Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
