susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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