She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
