sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
