the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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