she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
