worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
