Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
