There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
