Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
