I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
two words...techno handjob
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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