I hate all girls vehemently.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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