Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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