I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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