Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize