I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
