3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
