Fine. I'll sleep in my office
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
