How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
