I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
