i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
