Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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