She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
