He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
