Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
