well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She announced her abortion via fbk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
