so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
