I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
