maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
