Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
