sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Swine flu is the new snow day.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
