gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
