that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
