The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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