Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
her vagine was all disorganized.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
