it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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