Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
