i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
