oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize