found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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