I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
