You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
