The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize