she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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