my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
