I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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