Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
