I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
