i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
