yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
