I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
