Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
