Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Drunk walkin through police station. America
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize