I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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