You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
