"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need a beard to bite.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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