you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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