Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
whose ass print is on the piano?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
