I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
ok first of all what the fuck
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
