Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
