Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
