Im at strip club and am horny
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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